“Sexual liberation” is a fraud

Somebody left a thoughtful comment on a recent post. I wrote a comment but it got too long, so decided to make it into its own post.

Yes, I am probably dealing with survivor’s guilt. Part of the problem in my case was that the “kids are resilient” rhetoric, that has been promoted by professionals for decades, meant that I had literally zero assistance in getting through a number of extraordinarily difficult circumstances related to my family structure. To then learn later in life that I was almost aborted was sort of like a strange form of icing in the cake, it fit the rest of the story in a weird sort of way.

I now need to be free to grieve all of that, and do so in my own time and in my own way. “Kids are resilient” blocked my ability to grieve, not only because it stunted my own mental and emotional processes, but it meant and continues to mean that people around me are, generally, very unsupportive. At least until I explain things to them. At first, they don’t get it because all of the professionals told them that I should be OK. Well, the professionals were wrong. They were promoting an agenda that I believe actually harmed a lot of people.

This blog is an outlet for me to record my thoughts for my children. But I also hope to do something else: there are plenty of blogs and websites telling people that kids are OK after divorce, that abortion is OK, that remarriage is OK, that porn isn’t harmful, that pot is OK, etc. There needs to be a counter balance to that, a first person account of what it was like for a child to live under the “sexual liberation” ideology. That’s me, to a tee. My parents went along with the new “liberation” ideology, which meant that there is at least one child who had no sense of family because of it, one child who was constantly told who her family should be, then should not be, then should be, then should not be AND ON AND ON. This led to me being exposed to a lot of things that were confusing, painful and contradictory. I was supposed to be “resilient,” so I kept my mouth shut and coped as best I could, FEELING VERY ALONE. And not only feeling alone, but actually being alone in that place. Put another way: “sexual liberation” meant that I was the lone member of a “family,” which makes no sense if you haven’t lived it, but that’s how it was. I now see that “liberation” for the fraud that it is. I’m going to educate my kids about it, and I hope my efforts will help other people as well.

What is really mind blowing for people is that I was never sexually molested, and I know that my parents loved me in their own way. I was never hungry, always had clean clothes to wear, attended excellent schools, was well-liked by my teachers, got good grades for the most part, etc. They really didn’t think that I needed my own permanent family, and I blame:

  • the professionals
  • liberal religious leaders
  • politicians
  • the media

The people in power imagined that they could keep all of the benefits of the socially conservative family structure (a permanent triad of father, mother and children) while at the same time denigrating it, eroding it legally, and now officially throwing it away at the policy level.

“Intact family for me but not for thee,” that’s what I hear from the elites. Their hypocrisy disgusts me.

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Author: everybodysdaughter

I'm an adult child of divorce, having been raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations. I'm writing in order to shed light on the problems of divorce from the perspective of the child. I will also discuss problems with other non-triad family structures, since there is a lot of overlap. People often think that better parenting skills will overcome problems in non-triad arrangements. While I agree that parenting skills are important, they cannot overcome the problems I discuss such as fractured ontology and perpetual liminality. I converted to the Catholic faith in 2012, and will discuss Catholic things from time to time as well.

6 thoughts on ““Sexual liberation” is a fraud”

    1. Thank you! Sorry it took me so long to respond. I saw your post, but between work and being out of town for the holidays, I just couldn’t get to it–can’t do much on my phone.

      I will work on it, and my post should go up next week. Thanks again. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I do know exactly what you mean . I lived it too. Only my mother didn’t bother to have more than two husbands but she had kids with other people’s husbands and single sorry men.

    I was the child of a beautiful mother with terrible taste in me. She was also terribly fertile. EVERY piece of crap man that sold her a bill off goods oh I am not like every other man that used you and got you pregnant and dumped you. I will be a faithful no exception abusive man who loves your kids and be your protector your savior your man.

    Then she would get pregnant and they “poof” disappeared or remembered suddenly oh I forgot to tell you I have a issue I am already married.

    She had a house full of kids that were all alone in a house full of people . A wolf pack mentality the strongest survive. But you were not really strong you just fought for attention good or bad.

    I was ashamed of the men she was with and ashamed I wanted a father but they already had wives and kids so I wasn’t even supposed to speak their names . My mother’s shame became mine.

    Now she is dead and I am in therapy and still the mother of her kids helping them when they mess up their lives and can’t get my own together . It is a hot mess. But I just try to do the best I can every day.

    Liked by 1 person

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