Why aren’t we asking where the father is in a story about an infant’s murder?

You know the old saying, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” Well, that’s not true. There is. The dumbest question of all is the one that goes unasked. For example, if a five week old baby is murdered by her mother’s boyfriend, we need to demand an answer to this question: where was the baby’s father? The story is horrible. And notice how the reporter doesn’t even bother to tell us where the baby’s father is. He probably didn’t even ask.

Man sentenced to 65 years for repeatedly slamming newborn’s head on pavement, killing her

… One night, following an argument with his girlfriend, Davis took the infant into his arms and walked outside, onto the sidewalk… Davis raised the child and slammed her down onto the concrete. Then he did it again. And maybe again — he can’t remember.

Anytime you see this sort of story, where there is an unrelated sexual partner who has harmed or killed a child, notice whether or not the reporter raises the issue of where the child’s father (or mother) is. I suspect it goes unaddressed the majority of the time.

Here is my theory as to why. It ties in with “sexual liberation.” Consider the circumstances in this case. The infant was only five weeks old, yet the mother had a sexual partner who was not the child’s father. So within the past year, we can assume that this woman has had at least two sexual partners, the baby’s daddy and the boyfriend. (I say assume since it is possible she used sperm from a sperm donor. But that seems unlikely to me.)

We all believe that we are supposed to be non-judgmental about people’s sexual choices. That’s part of what sexual liberty means. Nobody judges because we can’t judge liberty, right? We’re the USA, the land of the free. What can there be to judge about people exercising one of the fundamental rights upon which our country was founded? So, nobody questions this mother about her choices, and the man is not around to question. A reporter may not even think to ask the question, since he is operating under that false idea of liberty. But we can easily see where that idea of liberty has led us: daddies are optional. Stories like this one make the point painfully, horrifyingly clear. No daddy at home, no daddy in the story, and no daddy even asked about.

And now no baby either. I wonder if he knows his daughter is dead.


Author: everybodysdaughter

I'm an adult child of divorce, having been raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations. I'm writing in order to shed light on the problems of divorce from the perspective of the child. I will also discuss problems with other non-triad family structures, since there is a lot of overlap. People often think that better parenting skills will overcome problems in non-triad arrangements. While I agree that parenting skills are important, they cannot overcome the problems I discuss such as fractured ontology and perpetual liminality. I converted to the Catholic faith in 2012, and will discuss Catholic things from time to time as well.

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