Divorce fallout: new step-parents might hate your child

If you have children and you’re thinking about divorce I recommend reading some forums dedicated to step-parents. You won’t believe the amount of bitching and name calling step-parents level against their step-children. Since I’m a former step-child, I find these things extremely offensive. Nobody seems to ask, “Maybe the divorce and remarriage are causing at least SOME of these issues.” Nope, it’s always the kids and the other parent.

Here are a few gems I pulled from a site called StepTalk.org:

I couldn’t be more “disconnected” from that slob if I tried! I despise him and his existence in general and I hate that he is even apart of our lives. I wouldn’t lose sleep or shed a tear if he never darkened our doorstep again…nothing would make me happier than skid permanently leaving our lives with ZERO contact ever again. *sigh* dare to dream…

I’m totally disconnected from my step kids. Always have been. Even when they lived in my home and I was helping in raising them. We never communicated directly.

I don’t allow Skidmark to call me “mother” or any other version of that title. Only my real children call me that and rightly so. The jerk already has a “mother.” He only ever calls me that when he is trying to steal my attention from my real kids or manipulate me into spending money on him. LOL

If you divorce, you will have no control over the kind of person your ex marries (or cohabitates with). This sort of thing might go on about your child.

There are a number of these kinds of sites. I recommend reading them to see what people are saying about their step-kids. This will give you some information about what life might be like for your child should you choose to divorce. Here is a google search for them:

Google search for “step parent forum”


Author: everybodysdaughter

I'm an adult child of divorce, having been raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations. I'm writing in order to shed light on the problems of divorce from the perspective of the child. I will also discuss problems with other non-triad family structures, since there is a lot of overlap. People often think that better parenting skills will overcome problems in non-triad arrangements. While I agree that parenting skills are important, they cannot overcome the problems I discuss such as fractured ontology and perpetual liminality. I converted to the Catholic faith in 2012, and will discuss Catholic things from time to time as well.

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