Child of divorce testimonial: Then it hit me

A part of me always thought that maybe over time my parents would get back together.

Which became a shattered dream the moment my mom started dating.

But the divorce never really hit me properly you know.

No one ever properly told me they split. Not my own family. Not anyone. I had to just figure it out myself as everyone tried to shelter me with lies like “we’re only just living apart for work”, “they still love each other” etc.

So I dreamt. So I hoped… that maybe everything was false. I clung to that one false hope that maybe they hadn’t actually properly split. My mind told me “no. what’s done is done” but I still wished.

The moment when it actually and truly hit me was when I moved to Korea for a year.
Until then maybe I was mentally in denial. But it hit me like concrete. We moved in with my mom’s then-boyfriend-but-now-ex and she told me I had to call him dad.

The moment she said that, I could literally feel a sharp stab to my heart (and I still feel it now to be honest)…

Read the whole thing here: Then it hit me

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Author: everybodysdaughter

I'm an adult child of divorce, having been raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations. I'm writing in order to shed light on the problems of divorce from the perspective of the child. I will also discuss problems with other non-triad family structures, since there is a lot of overlap. People often think that better parenting skills will overcome problems in non-triad arrangements. While I agree that parenting skills are important, they cannot overcome the problems I discuss such as fractured ontology and perpetual liminality. I converted to the Catholic faith in 2012, and will discuss Catholic things from time to time as well.

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