To the kids of divorce: we’re not alone

I could have written something very much like what appears below. I offer it here since I think it’s important for us kids of divorce to know that our situations are not unique to us:

… As years go by I noticed you start to Change. SHE started to change you. You put her and her child first. You made so many promises that never happened. Like  taking me to Disney World. I may have been young but I still remember.

As I grew older I had no father to talk to about boys. Or just to talk about whatever father’s and daughters talk about.

I remember how your new wife made me call her mom.  I don’t know if you know but; she was so mean to me when you weren’t around. She drove you away from me . She drove you away from YOUR family.

But why should that matter? You have a new life. And new family. You have children with her now.

Then I realized something. She may have got in your head but why haven’t you told her No! My daughter NEEDS me! …

I thought I was your baby girl, daddy? Why did you leave me?

via To my father…. — godlovefamilyblog. Please go there and leave her a comment of support.

There are definite patterns to post-divorce parental behavior that can be observed. This means that the divorce and new family structures are contributing to the problem–it’s not just a problem pertaining to certain individuals.

I remember once how my dad took his new wife and her children to a Fleetwood Mac concert without me. I was crushed. Not only did I love Fleetwood Mac, this is a man who told me only a few years prior, on more than one occasion, that he loved me more than anything else in the world. After he married her, he never told me that again.


Author: everybodysdaughter

I'm an adult child of divorce, having been raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations. I'm writing in order to shed light on the problems of divorce from the perspective of the child. I will also discuss problems with other non-triad family structures, since there is a lot of overlap. People often think that better parenting skills will overcome problems in non-triad arrangements. While I agree that parenting skills are important, they cannot overcome the problems I discuss such as fractured ontology and perpetual liminality. I converted to the Catholic faith in 2012, and will discuss Catholic things from time to time as well.

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